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Finding a partner in old age.
2021-08-23, 14:26#1 

Medlem sedan:
Aug 11, 2020

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"In my youth, it takes a lot of effort to put "stardust"in my eyes, to try to be that prince or princess. We are trying very hard to meet the ideal. In adulthood, this is not necessary: a person appreciates what he loves, and knows what he can't stand, understands his strengths and weaknesses. His personality is formed, and it is unlikely that the basic character traits will change. It is no longer necessary to spend energy on maintaining illusions, " says the psychologist.

We understand with age that older people pay attention to some other things.

Remaking a partner
"When we are young, it seems to us that our partner will definitely change for us. He will give up bad habits, go to the gym, earn money, find an interesting hobby. In adulthood, it is clear that a person has already formed. It is unlikely that he will change his habits and character. If you met a grumbler, then he will most likely be like that. If you met a "Zozhnik", then you will have to get used to getting up at six in the morning, charging and a contrasting shower."

Experience and baggage
"Young people do not have any serious experience yet, which means that young people have not had time to get hurt in relationships, it is easier for them to trust and open up, they still believe in a fairy tale. In adulthood, most likely, the heart is already scarred, broken, and then put together in pieces. You'll think about it ten times before you get close to others. You don't just "get a dog", you know that there is a whole complex system hidden under the skin of this "dog". The " dog " has a heart, kidneys, and lungs. And all this can get sick, it all needs to be treated. With experience, lightness is lost and the burden of responsibility comes."

Mature "boys and girls" often have children from a previous marriage, and with them all their relatives-ex-wives, husbands, mothers-in-law, brothers and sisters. And how will my son perceive the new boyfriend? And how will the ex-wife react to a new friend? But now the "baggage" from the past complicates the new relationship.

Fatigue and hardness
"The search for love is an exciting activity, but if the result is not too pleasing, then the search begins to tire. I no longer want to get acquainted with someone, get to know someone, spend time and effort. Disappointments knock the ground out from under your feet. It is better to meet with friends — they will definitely understand. In addition, we do not become softer and more flexible with age. It is increasingly difficult for us to adapt to another person, move closer and give space to another. The partner's advice or wishes often begin to take the form of" claims"and are perceived as an encroachment on freedom."

Make a portrait of the chosen one and go to where he "lives"
At a young age, we usually make connections easier, it turns out by itself and not very meaningful: at school, institute, trips, clubs. Young people have more time to communicate and strengthen relationships. In adulthood, there is a limited amount of time, because there are a lot of things to do, worries, and the price of a" free minute " increases. How can a mature adult who is busy and burdened with not always positive experience of relationships get close to a partner?

The art of making acquaintances and building connections — networking-can be applied not only in business, but also in personal relationships, says Maxim Chernov, a networking expert.

What are your strengths? "I worked with a politician. At that time, he had a girlfriend who held a high position in the civil service. He often told me about it. Her entourage is 95% male officials. She took advantage of her bright appearance. No matter what position the colleagues held, it was always a pleasure for them to communicate with a beautiful woman. She easily attracted attention, and over a cup of coffee she solved all work issues. Her beauty and attractiveness were crucial. She used it, and not only in business matters, " Maxim Chernov gives an example. It is more pleasant for any person to communicate with a charismatic interlocutor. You need to become like this. And if you are already like this-use your strong side. Do not underestimate personal qualities when building relationships.
What should be the person with whom you would like to communicate? Make a portrait of him. What qualities are important to you, what" shortcomings " are ready to close your eyes to. Who is he by occupation? In Russia, in general, people get acquainted more difficult: we are more conservative. A lot depends on the profession. PR specialists, advertisers, journalists of any age are more relaxed. You will easily talk to them, but in addition you will get the snobbery characteristic of many representatives of these professions.
Which people can lead to your goals? See who among your friends could help. If your goal is to find a partner, then who could become a guide, an adviser in this matter?
Where does your potential partner go? If you are interested in a representative of the creative intelligentsia, then you should look for him in a natural environment: at exhibitions, performances, concerts, apartment houses. What kind of sports does he do? Golf? So it's time for you to go to the golf club.
What is your value for a partner? How and how can you interest a potential chosen one? Do you know how to listen or cook delicious food? Do you have a sense of humor, are able to dispel any sadness? Your main value may be only one quality, but you should know about it and use it, the expert sums up.
2021-08-23, 15:47#2 

Medlem sedan:
Aug 11, 2020
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Idag 00:01#3 

Medlem sedan:
Jan 20, 2021
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